Dee Simon

Category Archives: Funny

Death Metal English

Henceforth, I will only speak in Death Metal English. http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2013/11/death-metal-english/

Normal English: “Commuting to work”
Death Metal English: “TRANSPORTATION OF THE WAGEBOUND UNTO THE NEXUS OF PERPETUAL QUOTIDIAN ENSLAVEMENT”

Normal English: “This bok choy isn’t very good”
Death Metal English: “CASTIGATING THE VERDANT ISSUANCE OF THE SOILS OF JIANGNAN”

Normal English: “I need to take a nap”
Death Metal English: “RIPPED INTO THE UTTER EXHAUSTION OF THE MIDDLE DAY”

The Day the Clown Cried

Here’s some never-seen-before footage from Jerry Lewis’ notorious film…

Here’s a clip of Howard Stern discussing the film with Harry Shearer, the only person other than Jerry Lewis to see it.

Detroit Could Use a Little Lube

My hat’s off to former Obscenester’s guest Jerry Vile…
http://gawker.com/detroits-fox-affiliate-very-confused-by-crisco-can-and-976074163

This video has made me realize I have no dance moves…

Man of Latex

Here’s my favorite scene from the new #Superman movie. #spoileralert

This will be the birthday gift for my next six girlfriends…

http://io9.com/pentagram-bikini-for-the-sunbather-unafraid-of-satanic-509156375
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I Worship Iggy Pope

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Ranch Dressing Soda

There’s nothing like capping off a long and hard workday with bottled vomit.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/ranch-dressing-soda-exists
enhanced-buzz-29552-1369776668-7

Rite of Passage

I had to study for three years and then perform a Bar Mitzvah to become a man. I would’ve preferred this:

Behind the Candelabra

I just watched the Liberace biopic “Behind the Candelabra” and can’t believe he was gay. I had no idea.

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